Is it wrong to focus on yourself?

Is it wrong to focus on yourself?

Since starting this blog I have had a number of conversations with different people about whether it is right or wrong to focus on yourself. Should we take care of yourselves first and others second? Or sacrifice for the good of others?

There are as many different “right” answers to this as there are people on the planet I’m sure. However I think we need to take stock and have a think about this.

You see, having studied and taught personal development for years, there is an ugly underbelly to the “empowerment movement”. You know, the people who really want to make a difference in the world but this one problem keeps holding them back. And at the root of this one problem is that they don’t love themselves enough (or insert favourite Achilles heel here). But no matter how many courses said well-wisher does, they still just don’t love themselves enough.

Now, don’t get me wrong… I don’t want this to be taken the wrong way. I’m not bashing personal development, but I am asking us to look long and hard about what’s really holding us back. I have a hypothesis, or is that AN hypothesis? Any way, it goes like this. That if a mother or a father has a sick baby, and they only way to get help for that baby is to beat down the door of the doctor, god forbid anyone should stand in the way of that door! Nothing would stop those parents. They would not stand there and politely think, “I don’t want to bother the doctor” or “maybe I’m not worthy of the doctor’s help” or “I’ve been a bad mother/father, so I shouldn’t ask for help”. They would just bust the door down and get into the doctor. When life necessitates things, people take bold action.

I don’t know the answer, but I would be interested to know the incidence of depression in the “The Great Depression” or during World Wars vs now when times are so good for most people. Perhaps when our survival needs are met we have more time to wallow. Perhaps when we don’t have anything pre-occupying our minds we find things to worry about: and we look “insiiiide: hello in there?!”

So that’s why I’m hypothesising the approach of bold promises to people in survival mode. A baby is in survival mode, people in poverty, or grave illness are in survival mode, maybe you know someone in survival mode. Perhaps if we can link our reasons for growing our businesses (or insert current goal here), to them; then maybe we’ll stop focussing on ourselves, and “get over it” long enough to make a real difference in the world.

A good friend who I had dinner with last night is doing just this, and I am trying to tee up an interview with him while he’s here in Australia so you too can be inspired by what he’s up to and how he’s running his business and manages his “self-worth” question.

I think it’s time that the pendulum swings back a little from “self-help” to “others-help”. Have I been sacrilegious? Maybe. Of course, you have to be out of survival mode yourself… but you wouldn’t be reading my blog if you weren’t would you?

Make someone’s day,

Love Joey x

The women I am with in this photo are prime examples of “Put others before me”…. and they’re doing just fine! My great aunt, my aunt, my Mum, (me), and my Gran.

What makes men get out of bed in the morning?

Are men and women driven by different things? Is it true that we are hard-wired differently, and motivated differently? Pina De Rosa, who has been studying men (lads, she’s had you under the microscope!) for 7 years, thinks the answer is yes!

And if this is true, can undertsanding the difference between men and women help us all to lead a much more peaceful and fulfilling life?

Having spent the weekend in Pina’s workshop last weekend, I’m convinced EVERYONE needs this information!! The information is breakthrough type stuff from PAX, an organisation started by Alison Armstrong 16 years ago. You can find out more on www.understandmen.com.

But before you do…make yourself a cup of tea, and spend 15 minutes having a listen (click here) to this great interview where she reveals a couple of secrets to understanding men!

Pina De Rosa reveals the secrets of what makes men get out of bed in the morning!

Here’s to a great day!

Love Joey x

Something for all entrepreneurs to think about (and those that criticise them)

Greg sent me through this from a newsletter he recieved.   It hit a chord…  Enjoy!

THE TRUTH ABOUT TAXES

This anecdote has appeared in a previous newsletter, but with the elections coming up I thought it was appropriate to include it again.
It purports to come from a lecture by a college professor in the USA.

Every time the government cuts taxes you hear the cry “It’s just a tax cut for the rich!”, and it is accepted as fact. But what does that really mean?

The following explanation may help.

Suppose that every night, 10 men go out for dinner at a bistro. The bill for all 10 comes to $100. They decided to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes, and it went like this:

* The first four men (the poorest) paid nothing.

* The fifth paid $1.

* The sixth $3.

* The seventh $7.

* The eighth $12.

* The ninth $18.

* The tenth man (the richest) paid $59.

All 10 were quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner
said:

“Since you are all such good customers, I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20.”

So now dinner for the 10 only cost $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.

The first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free.

But how should the other six, the paying customers, divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his “fair share”?

They realised that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth and sixth men would each end up being paid to eat. The restaurateur suggested reducing each man’s bill by roughly the same percentage, thus:

* The fifth man paid nothing (like the first four) instead of $1 (100%saving).

* The sixth paid $2 instead of $3 (33% saving).

* The seventh paid $5 instead of $7 (28% saving).

* The eighth paid $9 instead of $12 (25% saving).

* The ninth paid $14 instead of $18 (22% saving).

* The tenth paid $49 instead of $59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off, and the first four continued to eat for free, as now did the fifth - but outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

“I only got a dollar out of the $20,” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man “but he got $10!”

“That’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar too.
It’s unfair that he got ten times more than me!”

“That’s true!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $10 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!”

“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison. “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for dinner. The nine sat down and ate without him, but when they came to pay the bill, they discovered that they didn’t have enough money between all of them to meet even half of the bill!

That, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore.

What’s the big idea?

Hola!

I’ve had an idea, and the universe is helping out… you know when the light bulb goes on, and then one thing happens, and that leads to another, well… the video explains it all! 2 mins of my nutty smiley face for ya!!

Jxx

Oops… technologically inept Joey shines through

Hmmm… it appears my joy at being able to share the most beautiful boat in the world didn’t work!

Until my younger sister or some such educated person helps me to rectify the sitaution… my photos are on facebook!!

I recorded my first video blog yesterday, but its 140 megs and i can’t get it on here yet! Hahhaaa!! I’m sure there’s a siple way, but keep watching out! I’ll be in touch!!

j xx

We are sailing…

Hi guys,

Sorry to have been AWOL for a while… Greg and I have just returned from a fabulously successful trip to Sydney where we connected with some incredibly inspiring people and furthered a couple of our current business ventures. The entrepreneurial spirit is coursing through our veins! I have to say, the steps we took to consciously designing out life are really clear to see, and we are reaping the rewards of that every day.

You see, about 6 months ago, I was home for about a week between business trips for my role with Chris Howard. My partner Greg and I realised we weren’t living an extraordinary life. Solo, I was living a fabulous life, and he was living a good life, but as a couple it was a far cry from what we dreamed of… we hardly saw each other!

So at that time we sat down and talked about what an extraordinary life would look like together. We came up with a whole list of principles that excited us. We committed that every decision or action we took together would be in alignment with these principles. From these principles we came up with our “rules for business”. So we now have some rules that help us to decide whether any particular business venture is worth pursuing. It’s great to be able to say NO to a lot of things, because it means the yes-es are infinitely more attractive! Our rules include things like:

· Any venture has to be highly leverageable, so that every hour we invest pays over and over and over.

· It isn’t geographically specific, so we are free to travel when we wish

· We only do business with people we have fun with

· Every business must have a positive social impact

And there were about 5 or 6 others. Since employing these rules we have such clarity. Since starting our entrepreneurial journey together we have had dozens of business opportunities come our way, but our clarity means we can say no to the majority and only focus our energies on the few that suit us.

Which brings me to last weekend. Not only was it productive on many fronts, but we also had so much time to enjoy every moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I found this little beauty!

 

Have a look at her!

The ferry across from Mosman to Circular Quay was inspiring, waiting for a cab was exciting, business meetings at the MCA in Circular Quay were divine… There was magic in every moment. We wrapped up the trip with a party with Rick Otton on the harbour on Saturday night (yes… I sang Karaoke…) and we flew home Sunday morning. And then when it was all done… yesterday Greg and I took the another step toward our dream of owning and living on our very own yacht by heading out on the bay for a sail at the Royal Melbourne’s Open Day.

So… the moral of the story… there’s an art to designing a life, and you know you’ve got it right when business feels so easy I’m sure! Please share your thoughts…

Have a great day,

Love Joey x

Thank God for Other People

Hi team,

Today it is my intent to sing the praises of every other human being on the face of the planet. Well, that might be a little superlative, but truly I am grateful for other people.

You see the wonderful thing about other people is that you make promises to them. This is of course a choice… but one I choose often. And the beauty of making a promise to someone is then you have to fulfil on that promise. And that in itself is enough to make you get out of bed some days. I remind you of the funny little cartoon in my last post (check out “why we should listen to our pets”) if you haven’t yet ). The dog is absolutely bamboozled as to why anyone would get up without there being knocking at the door. Well… promises to other people are knocks at the door.

This is why I will never again work in a “micro-business”… a one man show. Because the only people I would have to make promises to would be mu clients. Now don’t get me wrong… its pretty motivating if you haven’t got something prepared for a client… but you never make promises to your clients to work ON your business. When you work in a team you make promises to other members of your team. They depend on you for your strengths and you depend on them for theirs.

For example I’m currently helping my Dad set up his marketing system for his breakthrough sweating product (sweating I hear you ask?!…from Personal Development to Sweating?!… That’s another story for another day!). As you know this is one little element of all the things I’m working on at present, but the thing I am learning is how awesome it is to have a great team. I make a promise to Dad to have the system complete by this Friday… he makes a promise to me to have the DVD done in a fortnight… Laura promises…. Asha promises… we all make promises, and fulfil on those promises, and magically we have turned around what could have been a six month project in 3 months. I think its good to sometimes “have to get something done” because you made a promise to someone else.

And that brings me back to social entrepreneurialism. Here’s an idea I am toying with at the moment, and will likely implement as soon as I find the right organisation… Here’s how it goes: If you find a charity or an organisation that really speaks to you… make a big commitment to them… a big promise. Work out what you intend to make in revenue over the next 12 months, and commit 10% of that to the charity. You’ve made a promise! Now, you better get off your bottom and start growing your business to meet the promise you’ve made!

I think its no accident that there are 6.5 billion people on the planet (more by now! Check world population here). If we were meant to do this life thing solo, I guess it would have just been you or me… and no-one else right?

So… start making some promises to the people around you…. and get moving. My promises have certainly got me on the trot with a big smile on my face this week!!

Here’s to you!!

Joey xx

Why we should listen to our pets…

Today is Sunday here… and I thoroughly enjoyed a sleep in on a rainy Melbourne morning I have to say. Getting up in the morning is one of the more challlenging parts of my day. Thank God for my personal trainer, otherwise somedays perhaps I wouldn’t extricate myself at all. Perhaps we should pay more attention to our pets… some food for thought for a Sunday… (promise I’ll have some ripper content this week!)

(click on the image to see a full size shot!)

Have a great week!

J xx

Critical Thinking takes on Religion and Personal Development

Yes… in my life I have been a doctor, an actor, and a teacher of personal development. I think I might have the worst case of identity crisis out! I was a teacher of personal development, and an avid fan of empowerment, and yes, let’s be honest, an evangelist. However, in the PD-afterlife I find myself wrestling with the battle between critical thinking and personal development; science and religion… It seems the ghosts of my rational past are coming back to haunt me. This morning, I have been googling and looking at peoples blogs and tossing ideas around. All in all, getting quite stewed up about what is the truth… and then I discovered this little gem… so maybe this man has it sorted.